Are You Being Frogged?
Terriane and I were talking with a friend the other day , and she told us how while walking along the beach with her partner they saw someone they knew. Her partner said, quick lets keep going before they see us, to which she agreed and they hurried along their way with heads down so not to be noticed.
In reflecting on this behaviour she said that it was so unlike her to do that and she had been influenced by her partners behaviours.
We laughed and said, “Oh, you were frogged.” To which she asked – please explain.
“How do you boil a frog?” we asked
You drop it in a pot of hot water, she replied.
If you dropped a frog in a pot of hot water it will jump out we informed her.
Well how do you then?
You put the frog in a pot of cold water and turn the heat up.
The frog doesn’t notice the temperature changing and slowly it becomes more docile and then it’s to late. CROAK!!
You are being like the frog to your partners’ behaviours and are slowly taking them on!
This is a pattern that happens in all relationships even with your self, where you tolerate a pattern or behaviour and repeat it over and over becoming numb to it and your old more empowering way of being has been covered over.
We asked her, if your partner had suggested that when they first got together what would you have done?
She said, “I would have gone and talked to our friend.”
Frog Translation: She would have been the frog that jumped OUT of the pot of hot water.
Much like the water slowly becoming hotter for the frog you don’t recognise the little changes slowly whittling away at you. And you forget how it was or could be..
To help you find out if you are being frogged ask yourself these questions?
- Where are you being Frogged?
HINT: Look though your life and where are you tolerating things that you wouldn’t have before.
2. Where do you frog yourself?
3. Are you putting something off saying it’ll be all right?
4. Are you having that piece of chocolate or ice cream where you normally would not?
5. In which areas of your life are you putting other peoples agendas ahead of what’s best for you?
Now there can also be a positive to this frogging.
Here’s a way Terriane Frogged me for the better.
When I first met Terriane she was a little bit tidier than me around the house.
When she attempted to get me to tidy up I would jump out of the pot so to speak.
So she just made little adjustments and recognized if she turned the heat up to fast I would jump out of the pot.
There was a fine balance of increasing the level of tidiness.
A big key was she didn’t try to change me she just kept her areas really tidy and I naturally enjoyed those areas more.
Now the house is balanced and I enjoy the tidy environment much more.
So for us this has been good.
I didn’t realize how much I had changed this old pattern until we had visitors for a week and they were how I used to be.
If you find that you are a frog in the pot and it’s not empowering you then, it’s time to hop out before you Croak…… (hahaha…)
It comes back to respecting yourself and what’s important to you.
It’s about stepping into your power (with love not force or control.)
When done properly there is no blame. There is just realizations and a opportunity to choose again.
When you know who you are and what’s important to you it is impossible for others to frog you.
The secret to Terrianes positive results in regards to having a tidy home was, at no time did she blame or shame me.
She just went about living her life and knew what she was prepared to tolerate.
Quietly just putting my mess in my office or part of the bedroom. For me there was nothing to push against or get mad at, so if I was the frog I jumped into her pot because I saw how it could be….